Cheapest Known Plog

date: May 23, 2006
subject: backlog II
listening to: Sunn 0)))

Pathetic eh! Two months go by with no update. Well, here's a mega update encompassing a bunch of parties and shows, my trips to Vancouver and Victoriaville.


This guy is at it again. He watches me at the computer. Don't slip, ya fucking creep!


Whoa!...I...fuck!!!


I saw DJ Assault at a birthday party, which was pretty cool. He has this white MC that he takes around with him.


The chicks get a bit crazy and show off their parts when he plays, apparently!


Some kid...


Love the fez, dude.


God, where have those been (all my life)?


B'hi, Yaz!


DJ Assualt backed up by DH, the designated wigger.


Two scene luminaries, Punanny Bizness and Mike Hawk Salope. Nice names guys.


What's up Theta-Hat? Greg from Toronto, an "old friend" heh heh


I went to Vancouver to see my oldest friend Tim and also Aranka. It's a different vibe out there, to be sure. The view from Tim's parents' condo in the West End, home to mostly "gays and greys". Needless to say, I was pleased. That mountain range in the background is called the Sleeping Princess. She looks so peaceful...






Tim is a steward on a trans-rockies train. That's what you get for not finishing university. I try to occasionally give my readership cautionary examples up in this shit....


Tim and his dad, grappling with a family size thing of Whey. Whatever floats your respective boats, BC dudes.


Vancouver is home to much flora and fauna.




Ducks Unlimited.


Tim and Aranka last name withheld. Two greats.


There's actually fuck all to do in Vancouver once the sun goes down. Late night shuffle board anyone?






There are bars of course but they're, like....I dunno. They aren't that cool, basically.


We went up the "space tower" or what have you. Tim had this sort of booklet which granted him (and a friend ;-) access to various tourist destinations. We took advantage of it.


As did various homosexuals of the tourism industry


Here's a "sleeping princess" of a different colour...


The booklet had a catch though. You had to answer a question about the place you were in. For instance at this chinese garden we went to, we had to go to a certain room and check it out and then go back to the reception desk and tell them what was in the room. Then they would stamp that page of the booklet. I have no idea what happens when you get all pages stamped. I think you're supposed to recycle the damn thing at that point. Or burn it in a fire. Here Tim is trying to find out some trivial fact about the space tower.


In the meantime, I got in on some crayon action.


It's kind of hard to see, but there is the Consualte General of Austria down there next door to the Marina Office. Why are you hiding down there, Austria? Are you still embarrassed about Hitler? Well, you had Mozart too, and he was good.


Aranka and her Tibetan BF, Kalsang Dawa. Dude paints a mean deity.


We had a beach picnic but it was dusk when we got there and it was pitch black about half an hour later. No candles or lanterns...no nothing. Some people fell asleep at the table!


A couple days later I hung out with Sixteen Armed Jack. Dude makes the best crazy jungle music out there. We heard some of the new stuff. We drank many beers and his gracious roommates made some nice hors d'oeuvres later on, but one of them got mad at me for eating too many of them (I think). Look at me, I'm fucking huge!


Back in Monty. I did a show at Esperanza with some dudes. Here is the mastermind behind Panospria, Kh4nstantine Catharsis. A fine Greek specimen.


Cock Rock Disco recording artist Vorpal.


My shoes, while I played my little set. These pics from the show are all taken by a member of Dac's Asian Female Posse, btw. Credit where credit's due, innit.


Lookin' good, Markle


Blakkar Noir.


Jesse and Vorp'


The aforementioned Posse


Darcin, one third of the band Intercom, who I hear are really good. He was good too! And he's a cool guy whom I saw at Mutek a few days ago and we had a nice chat!


This pic was sent to me from Andreas. These are a few of my favorite things....


This friend of Paul McCannibal, a certain Andrew Allsgood from TO, was up visiting and he also DJ'd at the Peer Pressure night while he was here, but I didn't go to that. Here he is w/ Sharon and Paul.


Kalan Porter (of Canadian Idol anti-fame), or a seriously similar looking imposter, was at Copa. I was a bit excited but boy was Paul ever fucking over it.


We went to this like, penthouse party where Dubstep don Kode9 was spinning. I dug his set. I should have passed him my AIWA remix because he would totally play it, or so I'm told...


The end of the night, Allsgood style.


Me and Paul went to Victoriaville to see the mighty Sunn 0))). It was a pretty fun little trip. I mean, the show was life-bending. But the town is a shit-hole, make no mistake.


A church....pff!


The only gay bar in town. Hot.


Now, let me tell you about the show. It was Keiji Haino and Sunn 0))). Victoriaville is a pretty harsh scene though, boy. The shows aren't "fun". You can buy beer, yes, but you cannot smoke inside. You cannot take pictures, videos, or record the show in any way shape or form. I was out smoking when they announced this. There were also some subtle signs in the lobby and in the hall, with pictograms to that effect. Like, a little camera with a red circle around it and a line through it etc. Well, I had no idea, and innocently enough I tried taking some pics of Keiji Haino (no flash, I'm not a total retard). Then these two orange shirted thug-nerds came up to me and asked if I had taken pictures and I said yes, and the next thing I know, they were dragging me out of the hall. "Surely there's been some kind of mistake," I thought. No mistake. When we got into the lobby, I said to the kid, "what the fuck is this?? You're dragging me out of the show???" He was dead serious though, and escorted me to some older fuck who tried to erase my pictures....I grabbed the thing from him and did a quick "erase all" in front of both of them, much to their satisfaction, and then they made me leave it with some lady at a table for the rest of thew show! I should also mention that I was not in a perfectly un-psychedelic state of mind. So this was all very traumatic for good old yours truly. I got to go back in though. And the sets were insane. Later on I went to get beers and accidentally spilled one all over the beer counter, which was also traumatic.

I got my camera back though. And I asked to talk to a manager about the "poor treatment" I had received so they put me in front of this lady who had just gotten there, and I demanded to know where it said that we couldn't take pictures. She pointed at the pict-sign, and mentioned that although she hadn't been there, she was pretty sure that there was a recorded announcement stating the rules of conduct. Even though I was out-reasoned at this point, I did do a mini-tirade to her about that being "no way to treat guests from out of town who come and pour money into the wretched local economy" (she was rolling her eyes at this point). I also told her that her festival was funded by government grants (a fact I made up, although it is probably true anyways) and then I said "I mean, these orange-shirted motherfuckers come up to me and grab me and ........BAH!" and just walked away feeling stupid. But it wasn't over.

After the show, I was outside with Paul and some other sonics we ran into (including this awesome Dad from North Carolina who had come up solo and had a full festival pass and was checking out all the shows. He was staying at the same CEGEP dorm rooms as us, but I digress) and so I had to piss and everyone was out front of the concert hall so I went around the building to a shadowy corner and pulled out the old boy and commenced slashing, but after about 15 seconds there was a mass exodus from out front of the concert hall and unfortunately pretty much everyone's route out of there involved walking past where I was pissing. So basically all of a sudden the whole audience of the show was parading past me urinating and it was totally uncouth and embarrassing, especially after all of the aforementioned shennanigans. OH WELL!!!

We then tried to find a bar but there's nothing good in that town. We found two identical clubs where white baseball hatted local jocks and their sluttily attired girlfriends drank beer while terrible latin club music blared. What's the deal Victoriaville??? To quote Lindsay Buckingham, "never going back again".

We went back to our dorm rooms and I took these pics out the window. This is kind of close to what the show looked like to us, mind you. Again, the two bands were amazing. The End.













Bonus Pic: A guy walking past my place with a Sousaphone.


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